Being a BEd student...

I always wonder,

IF, I studied physiotheraphy...
IF, I've gone for engineering...
IF, I was really into medicine...
IF, I had studied really hard and gotten a scholarship.

It does not matter... I wanted to be teacher.

Why? I felt a calling to be a teacher. I know God has plans for me to be one.

Somehow, the people in church (back in Kuching) did not take it seriously. I felt that I was the odd one out. I hated going to church. It's lovely but when people start asking you, where are you studying then that fateful question about what you doing, their eyes starts flitting round the hall. Their incredible look of "You went overseas JUST to be a teacher?" and their silent questioning of each other "Is she in her right mind?"

I've yet to hear great feedback of "Hey, that's a fantastic option!" Everyone just left me alone. I don't fit into the youth OR young adults. Even those who I used to play with would just nod hi. Maybe it's just the long absence that makes them unsure where they stand with me.

How many youths in our church are overseas?
I know there is a whole gang in Christchurch and Dunedin. I've got two pharmacists, one lawyer, one doctor, two soon-to-be-either doctors or dentists or physiotherapists and one engineer. WHO on earth in their right mind would be a teacher?

Even our pastor's children in Auckland are no where near that field. One in IT, one in Fine Arts, another in Architecture.

I rant and rave... At Kuching, people ask my mum, "Does she like her course?" "Is she sure she wants to be a teacher?" "Why did she choose that course?"

I think to them, being a teacher is the last resort. To me, it is my first AND only choice. My dad was asking me how sure I am. I said that I know God would let me have the course of my choice and I know it deep inside me that He has a plan for me in teaching. I felt it. The feelings were indescribable.

However, it is not an easy walk. I had trouble with my application last year and there was this point where I thought I would be deported. My visa was running late and it seems like no end. I could not tell anyone what happened. I felt like it was my own business and no one has anything to do with it. All I did was leave it to God and pray that He would guide me. He did and here I am, a second year student... The free-est amongst my friends here. With the exception of Jin. Hahaha...

I've no idea what made me rant about this... JUST IGNORED IT LOH!!!