irony of things

sometimes,

it's so weird how friendship fades.

I read somewhere about real friendship.

Something about no matter how long you've not seen each other or occassionally contact each other, you still are able to pick up where you left it.

Somehow, back to Kuching and KL this time, I felt that void. I felt shy. I didn't know how to act. It was weird.

This friend used to be so close. Man, our MSN conversations were havoc. They were mostly "crap" talk but then.... suddenly. I don't get conversations. Ah well, people are busy too. I just left it. Then comes Facebook. A friend who would comment on most things, just stopped. Ah well, maybe things aren't what they are supposed to be. I just felt it was a pity as it was still quite a good friendship.

Then comes the point where my friend just "select" things to tell me. Things she thinks I want to hear from her. I just want honesty. If you want to spend more time with your boyfriend, just say so. I might be single AND NEEDY but doesn't mean I won't be happy for you. Ah well, communication broken down. I just wish her happiness. I don't want to go into such a friendship where it actually felt like a chore for her.

Just thoughts voicing out. I know, I know. I need to hear the side of the story. I'm not that ridiculous. I just wanted to vent out that particular frustration!

FRUSTRATION la~~

But dinner at White in Hilton was amazingly delicious. Comparing the prices and services towards Sails and White. Man, I will go back to White any time.

little blessings

The darlings who couldn't leave the church.... and asked me to rescue them

Fell in love with HK.

First shot of me by dad. I look horrendous. Yup. Just got back from the trip!

"Esther 姨姨"

Little things that adds on that splash of colour onto a black and white life.

how can I keep from singing...

When I left Malaysia. I felt so depressed. I felt that everything is wrong.

Came back to NZ and molding myself that I would be the safest, laziest, most comfortable way.

There is no meaning to life. I don't even know why I'm doing this course. I love children but I find no meaning in learning any more. I find that through practical work, through a lot of reflection I managed to learn more things than just reading through theories.

So when bad news hit me, I find that what state am I in? Few years back I could say I'm staying strong but recently it's been so static. I don't want to read the Word, I don't want to improve my relationship with Him. I feel such a hypocrite sometimes.

And....

How could I keep from singing. Reminded myself. That I should sing God's love not during hard times, when I'm walking through the valley of death (still feels like it) but even when I'm happy, smiling and everything goes well...

Let's see how my walk will dramatically change. I want it to change. I will make a change.

psst! JinHong. This is really for you~~ I feel so bad for everything but still, you knew how I feel, how depressed I am but still on the day you should have the best, I told you that I couldn't make it because my own selfish reasons and you still supported me.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

nah, that doesn't feel any better.

the trip home made me feel a bit even more..... homesick??

I guess I like living away from home but not so far? How many more years do I have to stick it out in NZ??? I really want to go home. My comfort. My sanctuary.

I miss my parents a lot.

I miss I miss I miss... AirAsia. AHAHHAHA. For the sake of cheap tickets. But I also miss being able to eat.

i'm hungry as.... but I don't wanna go down and find food. It's not home