how can I keep from singing...

When I left Malaysia. I felt so depressed. I felt that everything is wrong.

Came back to NZ and molding myself that I would be the safest, laziest, most comfortable way.

There is no meaning to life. I don't even know why I'm doing this course. I love children but I find no meaning in learning any more. I find that through practical work, through a lot of reflection I managed to learn more things than just reading through theories.

So when bad news hit me, I find that what state am I in? Few years back I could say I'm staying strong but recently it's been so static. I don't want to read the Word, I don't want to improve my relationship with Him. I feel such a hypocrite sometimes.

And....

How could I keep from singing. Reminded myself. That I should sing God's love not during hard times, when I'm walking through the valley of death (still feels like it) but even when I'm happy, smiling and everything goes well...

Let's see how my walk will dramatically change. I want it to change. I will make a change.

psst! JinHong. This is really for you~~ I feel so bad for everything but still, you knew how I feel, how depressed I am but still on the day you should have the best, I told you that I couldn't make it because my own selfish reasons and you still supported me.