Yesteryears...

I was looking back to the years before I came over. They sort of seemed like yesterday but in reality, it was more than that.

One thing I remember vividly is how unasuming I was, especially in primary. I was quiet but I do get noisy which is a frequent as the moon turn blue. Chinese and Science was my worst subject and they still are... Teachers don't like or hate me. Even I do disappear into thin air, no one would look for me except for the poor guy sitting next to me. Primary 1 to 3 was something ordinary, nothing out of the ordinariness except that the fact was 5 of us (Irving, Ling, Joo Ying, Pai Yien and me) would go back home which was to my aunt's day care centre. Exceptionally for Primary 3 which I remembered David Ng coming to our classroom as a new transfer student and yea, it was like a group of antique fanatics going to a shop full of antiques. We never had any transfer student before unlike the textbooks which talked about students transfering and not fitting in. Well, sorry guys. This guy fitted in right away and I distinctly hating him because I could not get into the top 3... He was number 3 after Pai Yien (No. 1) and I think... Khai Ling? I distantly remembering chasing him (something about a police and thief game which he was the theif) with Pai Yien, Khai Ling and Joo Ying.

In my opinion, Primary 4 to 6 was sheer torture. I couldn't wait to get out of school. The darn teacher is NOT a good teacher. We were "streamed" into the best class... Oh yea... Big deal! We are the creme de la creme of the year. DUH! TORTURE!! She practically looked down on those who are not from her own class (meaning that NOT the class she taught from primary 1 to 3) and we were the crappiest bunch because we came from a class that was NOT famous for being clever. My Chinese was terrible and she pounced on me on that area... When Science came in, I was getting my first red pen marks written in my report cards. (red pen = fail) She never encouraged me and always made fun of me. It was horrendous. Making me stand in front of the teachers' room because I could not memorise an essay perfectly. I used to crap about the essays and got lots of words wrong. I knew what the story meant but I used my own words WHEREAS she wanted the exact replica of the essay. It was so humiliating standing in front, especially when you do have cousins studying in the same school and also a bunch of good friends who go to after school care with you. I could not memorise it as I couldn't even read what the words are. Only students that had been naughty or bad would stand in the teachers' (or staff) room. I broke that rule with another guy and imagining that, that dreaded teacher even suggested that I should consider him to be my boyfriend because we are so bad in memorising. He was lucky, his Chinese is kinda ok but he was lazy. I got on the wrong side of her and yea... DUH!!!!!!!

She looked at me as if I'm dirt and she even tried to force me to transfer class JUST because of my Chinese. My other subjects were sort of above average and I was not the top 10 bottom. In fact I was in the middle ranking, sort of like ranking from 21 to 28. NEVER even once I was the last. She just wanted to get rid of me and me, being the most stubborn person, I refused to leave. I just stood there and cried silently. Even the guy, I think who is Fung Lung, teased me about crying and I denied it vehemently. Stubborn me. My mum claims that it came from my grandpa. Bad years. Everytime I try to talk to a guy, the teacher would immediatly says that it's my boyfriend and I like him and stuff which is so degrading. What kind of teacher is that? *shudders* I'M GONNA BE A TEACHER THAT IS NOT LIKE HER!!!! It's just to humiliating.

Bad years gone by. Actually, all of the years are bad... However it's how you see that year, did you see it with a positive outlook, like that guy is soooo cute and good thing I could see him all year long, or with a negative outlook, like bad year because my results all year long are bad.

Those years in primary school days taught me a thing. Teachers really influence how you act in school. Students trust them with the heart that the teachers have the students' interests in mind and they would try their best to help them all. It was a shock of cold water when I met a teacher that was like her. She even laughed and mocked me because my English was better than Chinese and that I should never read or speak English again because I could not speak Chinese well... Very "encouraging" teacher.

She was shocked when i got kinda great marks for my public examinations. SHOCKED! I was like "Yes!"

In case you wonder, I got 5 As and 2 Bs, with the 2 Bs being Chinese comprehension and essay writing. I was sick that day. My mum had to tell the examiner to let me out during UPSR because i was prone to vomiting. Daddy was in Bulgaria on his Prison Ministry World Conference. So my mum had to take care of me and yea... Miss them a lot. My dad was praying hard that I could write coherently as I was on Panadol when I went in. All was a blur... I had like two subjects and it was a scare!! Science and Chinese essay writing. The hardest subjects.

So, the would-be-teachers or yea... may be parents in future, DON'T EVER degrade a child but DON'T OVER praise them either. It's really hurts them and the scarring stays with them psychologically til the end.

Maybe that's the reason I run away whenever I see my teachers... NO matter if they are fantastic ones or the *ahem* ones... o_O"