GMarket!!

It's still really nice to have some extra cash on hand and be able to do some online shopping, especially when you live in a hole. Kinda like a hole.............. NZ is so far from everywhere else that everything you buy here is a rip off.

I got some stuffs cause I had extra Gcash I could use. Very happily accumulated over the 3 years I have shopped at Gmarket. I've still got another package waiting to arrive. That one, I paid.

This time round I am quite disappointed with the shipping but nonetheless faster anyway.

Bought two skirts for the cousin and they were really cheap. Round 6900 won and 8900 won? Cheaper than the ripped off price we get in NZ. A decent lacy skirt would costs 40 bucks. Now i can get it at 1/4 of it's price?

Well... My small haul are earrings, earrings, earrings....

I keep losing mine. :( but a good excuse to get more!

The package when arrived. I knew what I was ordering and when I picked it up at the post office (My house is really inaccessible to couriers. *HORRORS*), the lady came out with this slim envelope. I was puzzled. I knew I had a small package but THAT SMALL?

LOL.Turned out it was a package that had a really similar tracking number to mine!

Super big box with virtually 2 items in it. Super light too!

My earrings. I was puzzled at first but when I looked closely, it was really nice touch with the handwritten things.

Who doesn't like freebies?

I ♥ her awesome note. Nuf said. This seller is a keeper!

http://english.gmarket.co.kr/challenge/neo_goods/goods.asp?goodscode=113394553

this is the earring seller!

at the moment... i'm blogging at tumblr. zzz...

caved into Helen's persistence about tumblers, tumbler and tumblr. LOL

:D Let's see how long i last.

怕自己胡思乱想、意乱情迷，怕自己不切实际，忍不住对他有所期待及幻想...

有时候呢，期望也大，失望也越大。

you think you write romance novel is it?

SO tired always being the person behind everything, working to make it work. Anything.

and yet no one still would think on my behalf or know what I really want and need.

All they do is...

expect more and be all nonchalant when I'm not in my usual noisy self.

Mental exhaustion.

Any thanks?

:)

It's great to find reasons to smile again.

Yesterday was a bearer of really smile-worthy news.

An old friend suddenly texted me telling me that he is back in NZ. What a surprise! Gotta meet him up soon.

Hoodies for youth are in NZ! YEAH!

Seeing Jin tomorrow. :)

My cousins from my dad's side decided to keep in touch and invite me over for dinner.. Ooohh... I'm looking forward.

Students were so cute yesterday... One of their good happy days.

Finally met Jessie and parents up and had a really good dinner...

I really hope I can find things every day to smile about...

Just been a bit down recently on things ever since camp...

What do you want me to do?

I guess a lot of people didn't realise this.

I'm pretty sad about my birthday this year.

Hahahah.

My friends didn't really care...

I am turning 24 on the 24th of March which is technically, on the 4th day of the 4th week. Sigh.

I wanted a rabbit. JUST A RABBIT cz it's my YEAR!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAA....

and I'm posting almost a month later because I can't get over it.

irony of things

sometimes,

it's so weird how friendship fades.

I read somewhere about real friendship.

Something about no matter how long you've not seen each other or occassionally contact each other, you still are able to pick up where you left it.

Somehow, back to Kuching and KL this time, I felt that void. I felt shy. I didn't know how to act. It was weird.

This friend used to be so close. Man, our MSN conversations were havoc. They were mostly "crap" talk but then.... suddenly. I don't get conversations. Ah well, people are busy too. I just left it. Then comes Facebook. A friend who would comment on most things, just stopped. Ah well, maybe things aren't what they are supposed to be. I just felt it was a pity as it was still quite a good friendship.

Then comes the point where my friend just "select" things to tell me. Things she thinks I want to hear from her. I just want honesty. If you want to spend more time with your boyfriend, just say so. I might be single AND NEEDY but doesn't mean I won't be happy for you. Ah well, communication broken down. I just wish her happiness. I don't want to go into such a friendship where it actually felt like a chore for her.

Just thoughts voicing out. I know, I know. I need to hear the side of the story. I'm not that ridiculous. I just wanted to vent out that particular frustration!

FRUSTRATION la~~

But dinner at White in Hilton was amazingly delicious. Comparing the prices and services towards Sails and White. Man, I will go back to White any time.

little blessings

The darlings who couldn't leave the church.... and asked me to rescue them

Fell in love with HK.

First shot of me by dad. I look horrendous. Yup. Just got back from the trip!

"Esther 姨姨"

Little things that adds on that splash of colour onto a black and white life.

how can I keep from singing...

When I left Malaysia. I felt so depressed. I felt that everything is wrong.

Came back to NZ and molding myself that I would be the safest, laziest, most comfortable way.

There is no meaning to life. I don't even know why I'm doing this course. I love children but I find no meaning in learning any more. I find that through practical work, through a lot of reflection I managed to learn more things than just reading through theories.

So when bad news hit me, I find that what state am I in? Few years back I could say I'm staying strong but recently it's been so static. I don't want to read the Word, I don't want to improve my relationship with Him. I feel such a hypocrite sometimes.

And....

How could I keep from singing. Reminded myself. That I should sing God's love not during hard times, when I'm walking through the valley of death (still feels like it) but even when I'm happy, smiling and everything goes well...

Let's see how my walk will dramatically change. I want it to change. I will make a change.

psst! JinHong. This is really for you~~ I feel so bad for everything but still, you knew how I feel, how depressed I am but still on the day you should have the best, I told you that I couldn't make it because my own selfish reasons and you still supported me.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

nah, that doesn't feel any better.

the trip home made me feel a bit even more..... homesick??

I guess I like living away from home but not so far? How many more years do I have to stick it out in NZ??? I really want to go home. My comfort. My sanctuary.

I miss my parents a lot.

I miss I miss I miss... AirAsia. AHAHHAHA. For the sake of cheap tickets. But I also miss being able to eat.

i'm hungry as.... but I don't wanna go down and find food. It's not home

13 more days... and 5 more working days with my babies...

if only they will stop pulling my shirt down.

*sigh* Cutie bubbas....

I'm such a sucker for little cute blue eyed babies.

and dimples!!!!!

Mojo....

Sometimes as you get older, the less stuff you have to say...

The more you talk about, the more you want to talk to a real person.

This year... I got quite upset at things.

1. Still no bf.

2. Still no bf.

3. Still no bf.

4. It seems like the no boyfriend trend will continue...

I was asking myself. Would I want a guy that takes me as less as I am when I show him my real self? People say, just sometimes, tone down. But, it's me, and take me as I am? I will still act up even if when we just "tone" down and dated and then he realised, he found a person...

but then... they do have points.

I asked God. Why still no one? I don't think He realised that. LOL. Yeah, right. As if. He's our Almighty God, everything is in His hands. All I need to do is to turn my heart away from the lusts of this world and towards Him so I'm gearing myself.

I love reading romance. *shush* Everyone thinks they are crap fiction to read. Probably we all girls are secretly romantics... Whether we say we are or not but in us, there is this "romance" we have in mind. My only romance is when one day, I am able to talk comfortably with a guy and we can just sit there comfortably in each others presence without talking but then you glance at each other at times and just smile and go back to what you are doing. Am I able to even do that I don't know but... Getting desperate for a guy is not the answer. That's why sometimes, I can't take it when people starts dating straight away because I believe a strong friendship is needed first as a base, not just that attraction.

It just made me think of all the guys I used to have feelings for, whether it was being obvious but never mentioned or just the I-know-you-like-me-but-I-will-choose-to-ignore type... Somehow, I still manage to just be happy about it and move on~ not by much but they don't feel threatened by me... Or maybe I'm just a man... not a girly girl? I will always forgive... I probably always fall that guy that gives me the attention that I want and I feel connected to~~ *sigh*

One thing... I'm getting more and more~~~ sometimes childish, sometimes serious, sometimes moody but the more I know my good friends more, the more secure I feel...

I still can be quite insecure but now, I love it... I take it as it is and...

it's great to have God as your best friend and I will wish my partner will have Him as his best friend... and we, will have Him in our lives.

sometimes the feelings of helplessness, anger, frustration and exhaustion...

makes you wonder where can you go... who can you talk to.

finally you settled on that one person you think would understood...

and they let you down.

I've been let down twice.

By people who had no time for me....

sometimes I just wanna turn back time and make sure Mavis is still next to me....

she would somehow always make me feel better.

people just tell me why are you making such a big fuss but sometimes, to be in that position, you have to feel that frustration.

is there anyone with just a little more time for me i wonder...

God you sometimes, makes men so cruel

one thing you need to always have

is someone/something that makes you smile.

Really. If not what would happen to everyone on the days that they feel down. Down is nice. Depressed. Suicidal. ---> my vocab is damn limited.

One thing that makes me smile.

Lunch with a best friend who knows you inside out.

A random text suddenly asking you how are you.

Someone you can call when something shitty happened. Like, you lost 50 bucks because you left it at the ATM machine.

An idol group with a good variety show.

Or even the current hot dance. Maybe limited to Kpop.

Linking hands with your current hot crush. (Pfft, this one, in my dreams)

Drinking your favourite milk tea with certain fillings. (this one, need to drive faaarrrr....)

Someone to bully.

Maybe shopping does fill up that gap.

One thing though...

Facebook doesn't help. At all. Trust me. MSN or even Skype is better.

Maybe because I don't have enough friends. =P

Aahahahahhah... This is how I'm cheering myself up today.

I think i better organise my wardrobe, and room. To feel better?

one sentence hits bam straight.

why can you predict the compability of other people but never yours?

ah.... yeah. Good question.

Now, time to ponder.

*beeps*

Moving on you old lady................

God's timing!

Sometime I just really admire it.

Been doing nothing pretty much til the internet is restored! Family went to Gold Coast for a holiday and I could do nothing except watch and stay home as visa is still "processing" but...

If I had gone to Gold Coast, I would not be able to complain to Anna about not being able to go to Mayday's concert in Auckland as the ridiculously priced tickets are cheapest at 99 bucks. And CHAO WEI GOT FREE TICKETS.

If I did not go in to resign New World (more like they force me...)

I would not even bother opening up my emails. I have a goal now. =)

AND I GOT MY GMARKET parcel!

AND SASA!!!

=D SUPER HAPPY.

After weeks of being super... stressed and depressed but trying to smile throughout it... I finally found something that I can look forward to.

AND I WENT TO THE MAYDAY CONCERT.

FREE!! Envy much?

I learnt patience.

I learnt the word: Wait

I learnt that jealousy still can't solve anything.

No matter how angry I am at things. Still, God has His plans.

Now I just need to let go.

RAGE

maybe i was being a bit too happy saying to mum that "The school still calls me first over Jin."

FUDGE.

I WANT THE MONEY.

I want to work.

WHY IS SHE TAKING ALL MY RELIEVING JOBS when I WAS THE ONE WHO INTRODUCED IT.

I really regret sometimes my decisions at times. I knew she needed a job. She turned it down twice. Then slowly because she was desperate, then willing to take it.

but now. I really really am mad.

Online shopping madness...

Recently, due to... VISA slowness...

All I've been doing is going online. It also seems that God didn't want me to have any trouble so I didn't have much relieving work and the occasional New World.

So...

All I did was to try and kill boredom at home.

So went online and HECK... My usual sites were calling me.

Sasa was horrible. I remembered I need lots of masks, LOTS! And then, realised my skincare was diminishing. So added a few more items. After looking here and there and minus-ing stuff so my shopping cart do not get so ridiculous, I managed to buy some.

Other one, gmarket is the worst!! My Korean madness!! OH GOSH! Shoes, clothes, accessories... All so tempting. Click of the button. I managed to dent another part of my account. =.=

However, shipping is really fast for gmarket! Usually get my stuff within a week or two. AMAZING. Sasa just sent me an email saying it would take more than 3-4 weeks. Die lah... Why can't they be as efficient as gmarket? Pfft.

I went out for 3 hours and came back with an email saying that my shoes were posted! I should have gotten more... Argh!