Today is the day I comtemplated whether I'm suitable to carry on as a leader with the youth. And to stay back as well.

I love them. But somehow, this year, I've met more obstacles than ever. And it hurts.

Jin talked about a Korean custom which they do it every new year. They featured some Bible verses and you picking up a random packet? I think so? And she talks about her Bible verse saying that she will face a lot of hard obstacles and she will need a lot of faith to walk down the path.

I think it's been like that for me. Thank God, my spiritual life has grown so much more these few years as well as me wanting to do more for Him.

Thank God for also friends that are constantly there to guide me and comfort me.

I've pretty much mellowed out. I don't know. These few weeks have been trying on me. I'm still stressed out but not in a bad way, meaning, I still sleep pretty well and hopefully, less taking out on people but more on berating myself.

I don't know... I don't know most of my friends anymore.

I want to have a person someone beside me that really can comfort me.

Jin has been a tad further these days because of her boyfriend and somehow, we have nothing in common anymore. =(

I really miss those days.................

Sometimes, thinking of having a bf makes me even depressed cz on most of the blogs I read, everyone is talking about their baby, BB, bubu... wadeva pet name they have for their bfs... and. I really wish I could share things with someone that special...

Argh. Just wistful thinkings and God's timing... is perfect. I believe that.