Honglish!

I've recieved another email... This time about Honglish. Very kindly compiled by a Malaysian friend currently staying in Hong Kong who used to stay in Auckland but actually is from Penang. I'm trying very hard to confuse people here so please do this face even though you are not confused at all.... (-___________-)"

Lesson One:

There are certain "rules" in Honglish that is common in Hong Kong.

• If "N" is followed by a vowel, (i.e. na, ne, ni, no, nu) the N is pronounced like an L. For example: Balala (banana), lo way, (no way), interlet (internet), My lame is lancy (my name is nancy) Please note for Nancy, since the second N is not followed by a vowel, it keeps its N sound.
  
• If a word has "er" at the end, it is pronounced as "ah". For example: Fathah (father), Dinlah (dinner), ohdah (order)
  
• If a word is in the past tense and has "e d" at the end, you need to add a "ded" sound. For example: jinkded (drinked), cakeded (kicked) Please note, some words like "eated" is acceptable. Please note, words that end with "ted" or "ded" do not apply.
  
• If a word ends with "ount" or "ound", it should be pronounced as "aang". For example: Ackaang (account), Maangtan (mountain), I am the saang engileer (I am the sound engineer)
• If a word ends with "ing", it should be pronounced as "eng". For example: wokkeng (walking), eatteng (eating)
• If a word has an "s" sound at the end, then you need to add the sound "si". For example: Salesi (sales), K-si (case), missi (miss)
• Words that end with "o n e" should sound like "oong". For example: Foong (phone), boong (bone)
• If you greet someone whose name or title has only one word/sound, you need to add an "ah" in front. For example: Ah sur (sir), Ah Ben, Ah Tim.
• Words that end with "ble" are pronounced with "bou", "ple" is replaced with "pou" . For exampou: (for example), dubbou (double), appou (apple)
• Words that start with a "v" is replaced by the "w" sound. For example: Winson (Vincent), wan (van), your woice is wery nyesi (your voice is very nice)

Lesson Two:

The following words have the same pronunciation. If you are unsure of how to exactly pronounce it Honglish style, please refer to the Cantonese word next to it.

- 曲 [ku] : coke, quote, code, cook – cookie (曲奇)

- 食[siek] : sick, shake, sake, six

- 夫 [foo] : full, fool, through – go through (高夫)

- 碧 [pik] : pig, pick – picking (碧鯨)

- 逼 [bik] : big, bake

- 高 [gou] : go, gold, coast – Gold Coast (高高)

- 雲 [wang] : one, won, want – Kevin (key雲)

- 低 [dai] : die, dye – diamond (低問)

- 波 [bo] : ball, bore – boring (波零), boss (波士)

Lesson Three:

Learn your ABCs and 0-10:

• 0 (知爐) [chi lo]
  
• 1 (雲) [wang]
  
• 2 (perfect pronunciation)
• 3 (fee/free)
• 4 (科) [for]
  
• 5 (快) [fai]
  
• 6 (食) [seik]
  
• 7 (些雲) [sei wang]
  
• 8 (egg)
• 9 (拉) [naing]
  
• 10 (tang)
• F (air 符[fu])
• H (egg 廚 [chu])
• L (air 爐 [lo])
• R (阿爐 [ah lo])
• S (air 時 [si])
• W (得[dab] Ber U)
• X (egg 時[si])
• Z (二set)

Lesson Four:

There are certain words in Honglish that are the short form of longer English words. Learn this so that you can understand fully what they are trying to say:

• Lie bar (Library)
• Fee Chem Bi (Physics, Chemistry, Biology)
• Geoga (Geography)
• Koli (qualification)
• E (email)
• Market (marketing)
• Filo (philosophy)
• Engine (engineering)
  

Final Lesson:

Why did England lose at the World Cup? There are many excuses and reasons, but in Hong Kong, it was because the English team had three Chinese players in there: 羅賓順, 谢拉特 & 林拍特！