The more you talk about, the more you want to talk to a real person.
This year... I got quite upset at things.
1. Still no bf.
2. Still no bf.
3. Still no bf.
4. It seems like the no boyfriend trend will continue...
I was asking myself. Would I want a guy that takes me as less as I am when I show him my real self? People say, just sometimes, tone down. But, it's me, and take me as I am? I will still act up even if when we just "tone" down and dated and then he realised, he found a person...
but then... they do have points.
I asked God. Why still no one? I don't think He realised that. LOL. Yeah, right. As if. He's our Almighty God, everything is in His hands. All I need to do is to turn my heart away from the lusts of this world and towards Him so I'm gearing myself.
I love reading romance. *shush* Everyone thinks they are crap fiction to read. Probably we all girls are secretly romantics... Whether we say we are or not but in us, there is this "romance" we have in mind. My only romance is when one day, I am able to talk comfortably with a guy and we can just sit there comfortably in each others presence without talking but then you glance at each other at times and just smile and go back to what you are doing. Am I able to even do that I don't know but... Getting desperate for a guy is not the answer. That's why sometimes, I can't take it when people starts dating straight away because I believe a strong friendship is needed first as a base, not just that attraction.
It just made me think of all the guys I used to have feelings for, whether it was being obvious but never mentioned or just the I-know-you-like-me-but-I-will-choose-to-ignore type... Somehow, I still manage to just be happy about it and move on~ not by much but they don't feel threatened by me... Or maybe I'm just a man... not a girly girl? I will always forgive... I probably always fall that guy that gives me the attention that I want and I feel connected to~~ *sigh*
One thing... I'm getting more and more~~~ sometimes childish, sometimes serious, sometimes moody but the more I know my good friends more, the more secure I feel...
I still can be quite insecure but now, I love it... I take it as it is and...
it's great to have God as your best friend and I will wish my partner will have Him as his best friend... and we, will have Him in our lives.
